Happy hump day, everyone!
A few days ago (while I was sick), I asked you guys on Instagram if you had any questions for me. Literally anything about anything. It was quite a diverse batch of questions, so I picked some really great ones. Let’s dive right into it!
Do you ever feel lonely especially you’re you’re single (if you are)? How do you deal with it?
I love this question. And the answer is, no, I almost never feel lonely as a single woman. I’m really lucky that my parents never pushed marriage onto me while I was growing up. I was never taught to aspire to marriage or really—romantic relationships in general. My parents taught me to aspire for self-improvement, education, career prospects. Marriage was never even a question or topic that they brought up to me growing up. Even to this day, neither of my parents ask me when I’m going to get married lol.
Because of this experience, I learned about the value of familial and platonic love. The reason why I don’t feel lonely as a single woman is because I’ve got a great support system. I have a really delightful relationship with my immediate family (and even my extended family, even if I don’t get to see them often) and my friends? They feel like my soulmates. Well, platonic soulmates.
Our society (especially here in the west) socializes young girls to believe that romantic love is the most important type of love in the world. I was taught that there’s love in the world that transcends romantic love; that you can care for people whom you’re not romantically invested in.
On top of all of this…I just really enjoy being single! There’s a lot of compromise that goes into being in a romantic relationship and being single in my 20s allowed me to grow and learn about myself independently. My perception of self was neither impeded nor influenced by the opinions of another person. I was able to find value in myself, my goals, my dreams, my body, and even my beauty without constantly thinking about them through a male lens. When I say that I don’t care about the opinions of men…I’m not being facetious. I truly mean it lol
Have you noticed any side effects from your weight gain journey?
ZERO! I’M LIVING MY BEST LIFE!
I’m more mindful of what I eat, I’m eating more food more often, I’m gaining muscle, I feel more fit and solid, I have more energy…the list of benefits goes on. I honestly can’t think of a single negative side effect of this lifestyle change lol
Do you have to take antidepressants forever or just for a while?
Honestly? I’m not sure! I’m being monitored by both my doctor and psychiatrist and they both agree that my current medication is doing really well for me right now. I was advised that I could taper off if I wanted to, but I feel so normal right now that I don’t really want to. When I wasn’t on my medication I had chronic, debilitating anxiety that even affected my physical health.
But it’s also important to note that everyone is on antidepressants for different reasons. Everyone has different diagnoses so the type of medication and the duration that you’re on it, will differ from person to person.
Do you have more book recommendations or anything to learn more about Filipino history?
Yes! Check these out:
Philippine Indios in the Service of Empire: Indigenous Soldiers and Contingent Loyalty, 1600–1700
Convicts or Conquistadores ? Spanish Soldiers in the Seventeenth-Century Pacific
The Mambunong (Indigenous Priest/Elder) and the School Knowledge System
History of the Philippines: From Indios Bravos to Filipinos by Luis H. Francia (I haven’t read this one but I heard it’s good)
Honestly, a lot of my readings are primary sources like academic papers and scientific journals (and the language isn’t always accessible) but I am notoriously bad at saving or bookmarking them so I’ve lost a lot of the sources that I learned stuff from :( There are so many pieces that I wanted to add to this list but I just can’t find them 😭 Lesson learned
Most books that I want to read are only available in libraries in the Philippines (and not written in English lmao) and I’m always weary of reading books written from a western perspective lol so that’s why I read a lot of academic papers and such because it filters out a lot (not all) of bias
Have you navigated friendship breakups?
Yes, and recently too! But I’ll be honest—it was really easy to navigate. I needed to let this ‘friend’ go because our passions, politics, and priorities were in completely different places. We were friends by proximity and during the pandemic, it was very easy to grow apart, so I just let the relationship go!
Any tips for a Latina marrying into a Filipino family/friend group?
There will probably be a lot of cultural similarities! The Philippines was also colonized by Spain so that left a substantial cultural mark. I grew up with lots of Latino friends and we all got along quite well because of these cultural similarities: big families, shared words (lots of overlap with Spanish and Filipino), etc.
I honestly think you’ll feel right at home lol
How do you balance your time between work and your social life?
By scheduling everything. Not joking. I schedule when I’m going to watch a movie. I schedule when I’m going to hang out with friends. I schedule when I’m going to call to make an appointment. I schedule when I’m going to workout. I schedule everything. (Ok, well not everything. Like, I don’t schedule bathroom breaks or brushing my teeth or other super mundane tasks) This helps to ensure that I have a solid plan to balance not only work and social life, but to prioritize my mental health and self care, too!
Everything thinks this is so over to the top, but I implore you to be open to it and just checking it out. It’s called ‘time blocking’ and it’s been used by productivity experts for years. Ali Abdaal has a great video on time management that I’ll embed below:
Being your own boss means that you’re not at the mercy of other people’s schedules — which is great! But it can also be distressing when you don’t have a plan or schedule to complete the tasks that you need to.